be warned though, these are mad dense so one goes quite a long way. i ate one before my dinner and afterwards dinner didn't seem like a good idea anymore.
also, they don't quite rise like a normal muffin would so don't freak out when you peer into the oven and don't see crazy action going on. if you like a big blargy huge ass muffin, just put double what you normally would into the pan. easy math, ya'll.
bikini monkey muffins
stuff
*1 1/4 cups flour
*1 tsp baking powder
*1/4 tsp salt
*1/2 cup margarine, softened
church: i found the bestest non-dairy spread evaaaa. well, i can't say ever cause really this is the first one i've tried. but, it rocks regardless. it's called earth balance and it's organic and everything.
*2/3 cup sugar or splenda
*2 bananas mashed...or not.
side note: the original version of this called for "ripened" bananas. that is losely translated into mushy almost yucky throw away bananas. sorry, i don't hang with mushy almost yucky throw away bananas. so, since i was using a hand beater that could tear those two bananas up like dexter on a serial rapist - i used your normal, not nasty nast bananas.
*1 tsp vanilla extract
random thing: i had a smidge of coconut extract left and i dumped that on it too. it's a nice little kick to the whole flavor. if your gonna use coconut extract though, be careful - it's quite strong.
truth be told: i lie when i say a teaspoon of vanilla. i really pack that vanilla on in there. i'll pretend like i'm really going to honor the teaspoon but secretly i let the vanilla extract pour over the measuring spoon into the bowl. so actually i think i end up with like, half a tablespoon. don't tell. hee hee.
*egg replacer equivalent of 1 egg
hint: don't buy egg replacers. they are expensive. i mean, buy them if your in love with them/have the cash/know a store that carries them but really all you need is a binding agent. use 2 tablespoons water, 1 tablespoon oil, and 2 teaspoons of baking soda. same diff, just no eggy taste. i also read on some random website that you can use coke (the drinkable kind) but it didn't seem like a good idea to me for this particular recipe.
*1 cup sweetened coconut flakes
what to do:
1. preheat the oven to 375. put liners into a muffin tin. or don't. if your not going to use liners make sure you spray the pan with a non-stick product. if you ask me, old school not lined muffins are pretty hot.
2. sift together the flour, baking powder, and salt. if you don't have a sifter, use a fork to mash and move the stuff all around until it mixes. really, your trying to avoid random clumps of stuff in your batter - which is gross. i've never used a sifter and i bake a whole lot. i guess it's just my ghetto fabulousness.
3. bust out another bowl, cream (hee hee) the margarine with the sugar/splenda until fluffy. use a hand mixer. really. you don't have one? go get one cheapo, they aren't expensive. if i have one, everyone should. mix in the bananas, vanilla, egg replacer, and 3/4 cup of the coconut. mix in your dry stuff. this batter is grossy addicting. don't finger it, you'll never stop. ha ha ha.
4. glop that junk into your pan and sprinkle the rest of your coconut on top. bake for around 20-25 minutes. test by thrusting a toothpick into the center of the largest muffin. if it comes out clean, your golden, take that junk out.
5. before dinner feed them to the person that you think is going to hog up all of your food. after a few of these, they will think twice before going for seconds. give yourself evil high fives in your mind.
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