9/18/09

old man anarchy...what would you do?!

ok, so i go to the grocery store on fridays. it's like a whole ritual thing to me.

i get up in the morning, make breakfast happen for all of the living things here, and then sit down to browse the online ads. based off of my cost estimations for our budget i then make my dinner choices for the fam and put them on my ical, finally syncing the grocery list to my palm pilot.

then off i go to shop or whatever. generally to sweetbay supermarket cause they have the best prices here. we don't have a super wal-mart where everything is a dollar.

sweetbay it was this week. all was standard for the most part then THIS happened towards the end of my trip.

the last aisle is where the milk, eggs, pizzas, and cheeses live. since i needed eggs i headed towards the freezer where they are at and noticed that there was a wobbly large old man taking his sweet time making his all important egg choice. like it's life or death or something. so i went and got some milk in the meantime and went back to see if he was done.

low and behold he was still there.

it was then that i noticed there was something odd about this wobbly large old man's egg selecting. he was between the regular sized eggs and the extra large eggs (the kind i buy for ry and the girls) and he was sorta acting sketchy. i was like, "whhhhha? why is he looking around all weird like 5-0 was gonna roll up and ask him for his AARP card or something?".

it was then that i realized this extra clever sneaky wobbly large old man was switching regular eggs out of the regular egg carton only to replace them with EXTRA LARGE EGGS. before i could even react, he snapped his egg carton of deception shut and took off down the aisle to safety.

i was floored. like, ok - wobbly large old man, your sticking it to the store. but you are totally sticking it to people like me that just open the cartons to make sure that the eggs aren't cracked and move the heck on to complete the overall boring task of grocery shopping. like, i don't want to pay for the regular eggs that your supposed to be buying. what a rip!

i went home and told the story to ryan who was like, "you should have been like I SEE WHAT YOU ARE DOING OLD MAN!" but the thought of that made me feel like i would have been a tattle tale or something. like a grocery store nark. i still think that was pretty shady of him to be doing that but i mean, how would i handle that without feeling like a jackass and making a criminal out of the wobbly large old man?

i wonder what other people would do when posed with this insane issue? would you have called him out? holla!

9/17/09

7 Days Vegan!

And it's Keegan's birthday! YAY!

9/14/09

today's fun food update

breakfast: bikini monkey muffin.

lunch: salad.

snack: cucumbers with sun dried tomato vinaigrette.

dinner: veggie pizza no cheese.

jenni: stuffed as a mofo. no more food please.

that is all.

9/13/09

true blood last episode

i was SO HAPPY to see mary ann go. i mean, really - did you have to draw that shit out mrs. harris? it's not like we all hearted putting up with mary ann, we all really hated her and hated the plot line that she was boss of. for reals, yo.

it was nice watching it with ryan though. he is a reluctant true blood watcher and i kinda sucked him in in a round about way with easing the first season's shows into his routine by guilt. whatever. it worked.

so, these tv slots are filled with stories that are just barely loosely based off of the books. katrina already happened, eric has already been revealed as loving sookie, vampire bill isn't half the douche he should be by now. but it is still a great watch and hugely addictive, so i am there - watching every second. this is hbo's redeeming factor.

anyhoo, i think that the person that placed the silver choker around bill's neck at the french eatery was his ex-maker. this makes sense based off of the old books and i think that perhaps eric motivated her to do it. what do you guys think? we have all fall to speculate!

bikini monkey muffins

what do monkeys in bikinis have to do with these muffins? who cares, they taste good! and added bonus, no milk or egg products.

be warned though, these are mad dense so one goes quite a long way. i ate one before my dinner and afterwards dinner didn't seem like a good idea anymore.

also, they don't quite rise like a normal muffin would so don't freak out when you peer into the oven and don't see crazy action going on. if you like a big blargy huge ass muffin, just put double what you normally would into the pan. easy math, ya'll.

bikini monkey muffins

stuff


 *1 1/4 cups flour 

 *1 tsp baking powder

 *1/4 tsp salt

 *1/2 cup margarine, softened

church: i found the bestest non-dairy spread evaaaa. well, i can't say ever cause really this is the first one i've tried. but, it rocks regardless. it's called earth balance and it's organic and everything. 

 *2/3 cup sugar or splenda

 *2 bananas mashed...or not.

side note: the original version of this called for "ripened" bananas. that is losely translated into mushy almost yucky throw away bananas. sorry, i don't hang with mushy almost yucky throw away bananas. so, since i was using a hand beater that could tear those two bananas up like dexter on a serial rapist - i used your normal, not nasty nast bananas. 

 *1 tsp vanilla extract

random thing: i had a smidge of coconut extract left and i dumped that on it too. it's a nice little kick to the whole flavor. if your gonna use coconut extract though, be careful - it's quite strong.

truth be told: i lie when i say a teaspoon of vanilla. i really pack that vanilla on in there. i'll pretend like i'm really going to honor the teaspoon but secretly i let the vanilla extract pour over the measuring spoon into the bowl. so actually i think i end up with like, half a tablespoon. don't tell. hee hee.

 *egg replacer equivalent of 1 egg

hint: don't buy egg replacers. they are expensive. i mean, buy them if your in love with them/have the cash/know a store that carries them but really all you need is a binding agent. use 2 tablespoons water, 1 tablespoon oil, and 2 teaspoons of baking soda. same diff, just no eggy taste. i also read on some random website that you can use coke (the drinkable kind) but it didn't seem like a good idea to me for this particular recipe.

 *1 cup sweetened coconut flakes

what to do:

1. preheat the oven to 375. put liners into a muffin tin. or don't. if your not going to use liners make sure you spray the pan with a non-stick product. if you ask me, old school not lined muffins are pretty hot. 

2. sift together the flour, baking powder, and salt. if you don't have a sifter, use a fork to mash and move the stuff all around until it mixes. really, your trying to avoid random clumps of stuff in your batter - which is gross. i've never used a sifter and i bake a whole lot. i guess it's just my ghetto fabulousness.

3. bust out another bowl, cream (hee hee) the margarine with the sugar/splenda until fluffy. use a hand mixer. really. you don't have one? go get one cheapo, they aren't expensive. if i have one, everyone should. mix in the bananas, vanilla, egg replacer, and 3/4 cup of the coconut. mix in your dry stuff. this batter is grossy addicting. don't finger it, you'll never stop. ha ha ha.

4. glop that junk into your pan and sprinkle the rest of your coconut on top. bake for around 20-25 minutes. test by thrusting a toothpick into the center of the largest muffin. if it comes out clean, your golden, take that junk out.

5. before dinner feed them to the person that you think is going to hog up all of your food. after a few of these, they will think twice before going for seconds. give yourself evil high fives in your mind.

rainy sunday pizza time

i thought perhaps the pizza craving would go away. the burning desire, the longing, the urge for pizza goodness.

it totally didn't.

the fact that it was raining and that the day has been generally gouge your eyes out boring didn't help.

with the bribe of picking up ryan his favorite pizza, i got permission to go back to sweetbay and pick up a dairy free pizza for me. excited, i braved the crowd of people stocking up on beer and chips for whatever random football event that they were planning on watching and went to the tiny part of sweetbay that featured this sort of item. believe it or not, it was empty of all people! who could of guessed, riiiight? ha ha ha.

so, the $7 pizza i thought i was going to be purchasing that was from amy's screamed "SOY CHEESE" but also had tiny little letters on the bottom that whispered "milk protein". deflated, i searched some more and found "tofutti pan crust pizza PIZZAZ". what a dumb title. plus, it had pictures of people riding 10 speed bicycles on the front. whatever, it was only $4 and i was pizza ready, yo.

so i hid my embarrassing pizza in the cart and grabbed a pint of "purely decadent dairy free peanut butter zig zag frozen dessert". that's a lot of words for ice cream.

at home, i made my pizza and ry's pizza and then consumed. not bad. i would have to say that i'll buy pizza without the cheese before braving this again though. it reminded me of the plastic-y cheese that comes on a pizza bought at a roller skating rink or at an elementary school. the crust was awesome though, garlic terrific. i have to say that the self proclaimed "mintz the prince of tofu" guy on the back needs to consult a marketing professional as quickly as possible, as his boxes are the worst, lamest representation of his products. somebody with that sort of background should write him a stern letter or something.

the pddfpbzzfd (purely decadent dairy free peanut butter zig zag frozen dessert) was a weird consistancy but the peanut butter was awwwwesome and it for sure was worth the investment. i'm not that into sweet stuff so i didn't eat very much of it. that pint will last forever.

anyway, i get now why the books i read on this stuff said that eating vegan or vegetarian out of the box sucks. i'll stick with my own creations i think.

speaking of which, i'm going to make banana coconut muffins now. i think i'll call them bikini monkeys. if they turn out, i'll post the recipe.

oh yeah, and today i skipped breakfast but ate a salad and the rest of the woodland faerie soup. that soup frigging rocks. next time double batch is so happening.

9/12/09

vegan with a vengeance, last blogodaday

i love, love, love going to our library here. not only is it one of the coolest libraries i've ever been in (to be more specific, one of the coolest of the the libraries that i've visited in florida. all of you floridians that read know where i'm coming from with that comment) but it also has some of the most surprising books that you could imagine. kailey gets her manga books, i get random obscure stuff, keegan gets...well, she gets picture books with big words which is pretty standard for most mini bugs her age.

to the point though! i got books today on vegetarian and vegan cooking. the bestest book of the three i got was a book titled "vegan with a vengeance" by isa chandra moskowitz. her writing is a whole lot like mine and she made me fall in love with her as soon as she started quoting crass, "if the programs not the one you want, get up, turn off the set. it's only you that can decide the life you're gonna get". hot. for reals. hot.

her recipes sound amazing and she writes about working for food not bombs and giving back to the community. she also hosts a vegan cooking show called "the post punk kitchen", not because of the music movement that came after punk but for us oldie mc oldersons that were at one time somewhat different but now have matured. or become boring. whatevs. hee hee.

to boot, there are a whole load of ethnic dish translations - most heavily in jewish cuisine. she speaks a lot about wanting to feed the sickly vegans so obviously the longest chapter is in baked goods. too bad i'm not a sweet tooth, i could gain a couple of pounds making some of her stuff - including a rendition of a hostess cupcake.

i haven't tried any of her stuff yet obviously but i'll keep you posted. in the mean time, if you are interested in good books for vegan food, take a look. you'll be amused at very, very least.

woodland faerie soup

for linner (the better, earlier choice to dinner) i decided to make a soup. since i wasn't sure how it would turn out, i gave it a magical fantasy name to make it seem more appealing.

it totally didn't need the super awesome name however, it helped to make it easier for the girls to try.

AND they tried it.

AND they liked it!

so did i! maybe you will too.

woodland faerie soup


stuff:

*1 leek chopped.

note: leeks are fun looking but they are dirty-dirty. kind of like a ying yang twin. you don't want to use any of the dark green parts, only the light green and white parts. so slice off what isn't the right color and the hairy weird part on the bottom of the bulb. shivers. that part is gross. then slice your leek in half and chop up.

don't go using it yet though, cause like i said - dirt is happening. soak that mofo in cold water and stir it around to clean. then drain the pieces and your eiiii yup.

*1 large scallion, peeled and chopped.

*2 large cloves garlic, peeled and minced.

*1 pint of white mushrooms.

*32 oz vegetable broth.

suggestion: i used organic broth from nature's place, which is the sweetbay brand of stuff that is less likely to kill you. it's cheaper than most and it's super good.

*1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil.

*salt and pepper to taste

what to do:


1. get yourself out a large pot. yeah, i said it. large pot.

2. pour in your evoo and heat on medium high.

3. add your garlic and scallions. stir them around until fragrant and the scallions are looking somewhat more paler. not like me pale but you know what i mean. beware, you don't want your garlic to brown. overcooked garlic is bitter and yucky, like most of my ex-math teachers.

4. add your mushrooms. stir some more.

5. when your mushrooms are turning a browner color and gooing some liquid add your leeks. stir until leeks are giving but still have some bite to them. i suppose the level of bite-ness that you like is up to you, i personally don't like mushy stuff.

6. add in your salt and pepper. taste to see if you need more or less.

7. pour in the broth. listen to it sizzle. feel fancy.

8. bring to a light boil to combine flavors.

9. remove your pot from heat.

10. serve to all of the creatures of the forest. or you could set tiny bowls in tiny traps to capture them as your mini little mythological slaves. it's up to you really.

i caught ryan eating this soup out of the pot. yeah, that's how good it is.

see? SEE?!?!

so i tried to find the link to share where i made my pledge but when i looked it up and got there the page yelled at me.


Pledge to Be Veg for 30 Days!


You have already taken action on this alert.


Please consider taking action on other issues.


big brother, i'm telling you. big brother.

all i can say now is search for it in the engine you like the best then draw your shades down and close the curtains as tight as possible.

meatless log...hee hee. that sounds gross, doesn't it?

i was all about posting this to my facebook notes area but then realized, why? it's frigging long. nobody wants to pretend to have that long of an attention span on facebook.


so then - i was like, "eureka. i have that blog thingie i've never used. brilliant!"


and also i can blog about other random stuff later on, like when owls try to attack me in my front yard or like when me and kris play rockband or like when the kids do and say amusing things. see how this all works out? huh? huh???!!!

anyway! for motivational sake, right now i'm going to document my fun with hiding from animal products! how fun is that?

i pledged to go 30 days vegetarian (which is roughly october the 10th) but i want to avoid dairy too, though i don't know exactly what to look for for hidden stuff in the ingredients of food. 

so i guess i could say that i'm avoiding the obvious dairy/animal products.  


oh, i made this pledge on peta's website and they are pretty hardcore. i'm afraid that they are spying on me and if they see me slip up they'll steal my dog guinness and my betta fish grampa bill. you know that they could, right? you could be being watched RIGHT NOW. i'll post the link after i write this so you can feel the magic.

let me know if you want to join me, it would be fun to have someone to share this with.

but i digress, i don't know how anybody wouldn't want to try doing this after seeing what commercial farming is about. i don't want to argue the politics of it all and i realize that the industry employs a great deal of people. let's leave that at that and call it a personal choice for me.

another quick note, i was afraid that doing this would increase my grocery bill but it actually reduced it only having to shop meat for my family. maybe after this the kids will be interested in joining me but i doubt ryan will. he's wayyyyy too southern. translation for those that don't understand: everything had a face at one time and needs to be fried.

it was neat posting that i was going to try to go vegetarian on facebook, i got a lot of feedback from my friends. thanks again, guys - you all are the bestest.

seeing that we are already a day behind on this let's get on to the food!  

9/11/09  

this day was pretty easy, surprisingly. i actually successfully made the kids cheese pizza and did NOT eat any. i was pretty full of other stuff, i guess - but i'm worried about pizza looking towards the future. yuuuuummmm, pizza.  

i saw a soy cheese pizza at sweetbay but i don't think i would feel ok spending almost $7 on a pizza just for me right now. that would make me feel like a jerkface. however, give me 10 more days or so without pizza. by then i just might be ready to drop mad bones on it.  

breakfast: salad. i heart salad. 

lunch: salad. did i mention i heart it? 

snack: some peanuts. peanuts are mad filling. totally. 

dinner: whole wheat wrap with bean sprouts, spinach leaves, sunflower seeds, and chopped candy tomatoes. these tomatoes are mad good, they are like regular ones but mini! 

snack: frozen red grapes. yum!  

9/12/09  

i have to take the kids to the library today to exhange books and also to target to get keegan's birthday candles. 

kailey also wants some chenille pipe cleaners to make fuzzy little animals out of. she made a butterfly the other day and if you moved it's wings, it's antenna moved too! it was cool.  

anyway, point being is that i plan on making veggie soup later and might not be able to because of prior plans. 

i bought leeks for the soup and i can't wait to cut them up. they are so big and weird looking. a big bonus of doing this is the chopping. you get to chop everything, slice everything, use big knives. muh ha ha.

but as far as the soup is concerened, we shall see if i've got time to make it. it's raining super hardcore right now and if it keeps up forget about battling my way to the library. it'll still be there tomorrow.  

you know, and i kinda hope ryan doesn't want to have any beers today because the last time i drank after eating salad all day was a hot mess. hawwwwt even. lettuce and tomatoes don't combat the drunkeness very well.  

breakfast: granola with vanilla soy milk. accidentally put vanilla soy milk into kid's cereal (whoops...hee hee). kids automatically demand that soy milk happens in cereal from now on. and so it begins!

the rest of my day is a mystery for now. 

you'll just have to hold tight, not freak out, and wait for the big reveal. 

kind of like watching project runway but i'm not heidi. 

you can pretend i have a german accent though if you want to, i won't judge.